Buy the Pie: The Hosting Rule I Learned the Hard Way

Years ago, I brought a banana cream pie from Viktor Benes in Encino to a gathering.

A very good banana cream pie.

At some point, someone asked if I had made everything.

I said yes.

Then they said, Everything?

And this is where I could have behaved like a normal person and said, “Well, except the pie.”

I did not.

To be clear, I did not set out to have anyone think I was some kind of banana cream pie expert. Although, to be fair, I did not exactly discourage the idea either.

So I just… kept going with it.

Which was fine right up until someone asked me for the recipe.

Yikes.

There are only so many ways to explain why you don’t know how to make the banana cream pie you have just very clearly implied you made.

I think my confession went something like:

“Yeah, so about that… I might be the reason this pie is sitting here, but not exactly how you think. I bought it from Viktor Benes.”

It was awkward. Like, super awkward.

Also, does anyone really know how to make a fresh banana cream pie without it tasting vaguely like banana pudding from the grocery store? I maintain that this is a specialized skill set.

These days, I would handle the whole thing differently.

I’d go to a great bakery, buy the pie, put it on a pretty plate, and announce its excellent pedigree to anyone who asked.

Because somewhere along the way, I figured out that having people over isn’t actually a test of whether you can make everything yourself.

And that’s more or less why The Well Gathered Life exists.

We make hosting harder when we convince ourselves we’re supposed to have made the pie too.

We’re much more interested in the part where people actually get together. The laughing. The slightly questionable conversations. The thing that goes wrong and becomes the story everyone remembers. And making the whole thing easy enough that you’ll actually do it again.

So here’s the hosting rule I learned the hard way:

Buy the pie.

Put it on a pretty plate if you want.

Tell everyone where you got it.

Then get back to the part that actually matters: enjoying the people who came over.

Just don’t say you made it.

— The Well Gathered Life

P.S. If you do make an exceptional banana cream pie from scratch, please know that I respect you. I just don’t understand you.